I did a TikTok video & so many people send me messages and said “How do I love myself?! Where to being?!” And so many said that they think loving yourself is SELFISH! So I decided to talk about this!!
For the bulk of my life, I was the same! I was so unhappy.
And, eventually, I realized that I DESERVE to be happy! And that’s also I want to tell you – every single woman has G-d given right to be happy, to be free, to be in peace, to be surrounded by love.
But see, that part of the love can truly occur in a healthy way when you first love yourself. This is a very existential concept!!
If you are struggling with this, make sure to join our Fearless Woman Tribe on FB! We do weekly Lives there & the tribe is truly amazing.
Do you love yourself?
I understood that I didn’t love myself when I was 45 years old! It took me my whole life to realize that I wasn’t happy, I didn’t have love, I didn’t have freedom!
Even though my husband might’ve thought that he loved me, my NEEDS were not met.
If you are not clear on your needs of love, you will never get what you need.
If you have certain needs, you need to be clear about them! If you are not clear on your needs, you are BEING NEEDY. And being needy will repel what you truly need.
Having NEEDS is clarity, having abundance of worth.
A man does not know what you need unless you clearly communicate that.
And often this situation happens because we don’t love ourselves!!
Now I am madly, passionately, insanely in LOVE WITH MYSELF.
And now I have the man in my life who is the wind in my back.
Toxic Love vs Real Love
It’s all about you! Like attracts like. If you don’t love yourself, you will not receive the kind of love that you want.
I get messages all the time saying “I love him but he yells, he’s aggressive”. That’s a TOXIC LOVE. If you are begging, if you are trying for him to love you, it’s toxic.
Real love is effortless. It happens when you can be you.
Toxic love happens when you’re being fake. And we’re fake when we’re afraid of what people will think. Which leads us to not loving ourselves.
Just be clear. You’re probably a high-functioning woman! Possibly, you make 6-figures, you’re powerful, you take care of your family, you bring food on the table.
Deep down, you work so hard because you don’t love yourself!! You work so hard to make THEM HAPPY because you need the external validation that you’re worth loving.
When we contour ourselves into someone else for others to love us, it’s EXHAUSTING. To FEEL LOVABLE if we don’t believe in ourselves is hard.
How to start loving yourself?
The absolute paradigm shift is to START LOVING YOURSELF. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, you don’t know why or how. I need you to start falling in love with yourself BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH IT.
You are a human, you are a woman, you’ve created life, your existence – all of that is enough for you to start loving yourself.
And the only way how this will work is to understand that you bring a toxic relationship into your life because you don’t love yourself.
STEP #1: Validate your own feelings
First and foremost validate your own feelings. You can feel all the things!! You’re a woman. You can handle your feelings. Whoever is telling you that you can’t handle your feelings, it’s brainwashing. https://fearlesswoman.co/blog/trust-your-feelings/
I’m tired of grown women acting like kids!! I used to do that. But, after leaving my husband, I realized… who am I?! Why do I act this way?!
Once you realize that, you’re going to start changing. Owning your emotions and feelings is an important step.
STEP #2: Learn to put yourself first
It’s selfish NOT TO put yourself first!!
Instead of making a home-made dinner, order pizza.
When someone just takes and takes from you, learn to say NO.
Stop putting everyone else first, you’ve got to learn how to take care of yourself.
You have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first.
If you are depleted and exhausted, if you’re not sure what’s wrong with you… start putting yourself first!
LIVE ATTRACTS LIKE. And the universe will start validating what you do for yourself.
My fearless woman mantra is #MMI: me, myself & I.
Does it work for me?
Do I want to do this?
Validate your own worth!
STEP #3: Learn to have boundaries
Download my 4 Step Boundary Model to learn all about it!
A person does not know what are your boundaries unless you communicate about them.
Many people mix having boundaries with confrontation.
Boundaries mean all about COMMUNICATING about your feelings.
