Two simple words that when put together are so very powerful – I MATTER. But do I? I mean, do I really believe that I matter?
Let me ask you – do YOU believe you matter? Do WE really matter? The question gets deeper – when I ask you this:
Do YOU Matter to YOU?
You see that’s the paradigm shift! This is not about me affirming you matter to me. No! This is about you affirming you matter to YOURSELF.
I repeat as this is VERY powerful mindset shift for a happier life.
You see that’s the paradigm shift! This is not about me affirming you matter to me. No! This is about you affirming you matter to YOURSELF.
When you take that paradigm shift and recognize that you do matter, that your thoughts matter, your feelings matter, your emotions matter, anything and everything about you matter, that’s when your life starts to change. For the better and forever!
Are You a Total Giver that You are Now Exhausted?
My whole life I lived like I was invisible. Like I did not exist. Everything was about everyone else. It was about my friends, my family, then my boyfriend, then my husband, then my kids of course, but it seemed my husband (now X) always dominated my life.
I didn’t give it much mind honestly. I didn’t notice. That’s how I now look back and realize that back THEN I did not matter. Back then I did not have a sense of “I ” of “ME”. Awful.
Back then, I was truly a shcmateh (a Yiddish word that literally means a wet rag, but that basically implies you are a good for nothing worthless piece of XXX that does all for everyone and does nothing for herself). Yes, that was me back then and I am sure that is many of you reading this blog now.
At some point in your life, you will start seeing some patterns about yourself. You will start seeing that you seem to always be comprising your needs, wants and desires for others. You seem to always be the one that is exhausted. Always the one that is so tired. Always the one that does for everyone, yet no one ever seems to do for you.
You make everyone food, yet no one has ever cooked for you. You do all the carpools for all your friends, but no one offers to do carpools for you. You cook beautiful dinners like steak for your guests, but when you go to their house they make you chicken wings and drum sticks. And you just suck it up and say this is ok with you. You blow it off and say it’s fine.
You shrug it off and say, ah, it’s no big deal.
You then have your boyfriend or your spouse that never helps in the house. He expects you to do everything and of course, you do!
He sits around and watches TV while you clean up after dinner, do a load of laundry, sit with the kids for homework, get lunches ready for the kids the next day, take the trash out, run the dishwasher, make a list of groceries you’ll get tomorrow after drop off but before you go to work, and there is your husband, watching TV. And you look at him and deep down you say, why does he not notice how much I do and offer to help, and then you just blow off that feeling and say, ah, it’s ok, and keep doing it.
This is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
The EXPLOSION will set you free!
There will come a time in your life, that all these “shrugs, and blowing things off” will irritate you more and more and more. Until one day, there will be an EXPLOSION. It will be over the smallest or stupidest thing in the world. Like your husband complaining about not enough salt in his food or your friend complaining that she was too tired to get her kids today, or whatever small event it is. But to you, it will not be small at all. It will be your whistleblower. It will be your event and trigger that makes all this suppression from all your friends, family and husband make you go crazy and say ENOUGH.
You will say ENOUGH of taking advantage of me.
You will say ENOUGH of me doing everything and you doing nothing.
You will say ENOUGH of feeling compromised and guilty.
You will say ENOUGH.
And you know WHY you will say that?
Because you will finally realize that YOU MATTER.
That YOU are important.
That YOU are special.
That YOU needed to be treated with respect and honor and love.
RELIEF and a change will not start happening that will set you free and attract abundance into your life like you can’t even begin to imagine.
I MATTER: It’s time to believe yourself!
This profound paradigm shift of consciousness of YOU is very powerful. Some women may find that they have never even thought of themselves as anything (that was me FYI). I lived most of my life not even thinking of myself. I was always on automatic pilot. Moving so fast through the day to just get things done for everyone else so I can finally start getting things done for myself, which of course never happened, and so the cycle started again the next day.
The day you recognize that you ARE the WHOLE equation and not just PART of It (and for some of us we were never even IN the equation) you will see how now recognizing that you MATTER how things will change for you.
When you show up into the world and say I MATTER and walk and talk and act the part like it – two things happen:
- You change. You become happier. You make sure you nurture yourself also (or sometimes even first you and then everyone else). You start feeling better about yourself because you are aware of what you need and want and YOU are making sure you get what you need and want, and even more importantly, you learn to ASK others to give you what you want and need. That ASKING is extremely empowering. It shows you matter so much to yourself, you are going to ASK for others to nurture you. Bravo!!
- Other people around you will naturally notice the new you. Some will be angry about it and you may find that those people have to leave your life as they like the OLD you that did not have the “I MATTER” attitude as they made it all about them. The NEW you that acknowledges how much you matter doesn’t put up with those type of people anymore. If people acquiesce to the new way and nurture you naturally, those are the keepers in your life and I promise you the ones that truly love you will adapt to the new you and will nurture the fact that you are putting yourself first. Those that don’t like the new “ I MATTER” you will end up leaving your life (or you will leave their lives). Many break ups of all sorts happen here – with boyfriends, with bosses, with husbands, and with best friends. Sad indeed, but it’s called the “natural evolution of the “ I MATTER” movement!
NEW MANTRA – I MATTER
Live by this as your new Mantra. All-day, every day, every minute of every second remember that you are number one. That you matter, that you are everything to yourself and you come first.
I honor who you are and support who you are as long as you do it FIRST for YOU.
