A big part of divorce is DATING. How to have fun dating after divorce?!
Let’s be honest. We all want a partner. It’s a normal human need! There is a need to have a partner.
In my Facebook group, I started a discussion and asked my tribe what are their first thought when it comes to dating after divorce.
They mentioned fear, intrigue, scared to trust, scared of getting hurt.
When I broke up with my husband, my thought was – what men will ever want me?! That was the main thought in my mind!
The biggest takeaway: it’s not about THEM! IT’S ABOUT US.
We’ve gone through a divorce!
If you have survived the divorce, you can survive dating!
Dating is the cake.
If you can break up and deal with a divorce, dating should be FUN.
How to Have Fun Dating After Divorce
LESSON #1: Embrace Your Power
It’s all about our power. About being a fearless woman and tapping into our power.
What happens with dating is that we make it all about him!!
All of a sudden we think
“He’s not gonna like me…”
“He’s going to reject me…”
We’re giving ALL OUR POWER to men.
Everything about our God-given beauty. We are beautiful!! We’ve been married and we’ve had men in our lives. It’s there. We’ve done this.
The biggest transformation is to understand that IT’S NOT ABOUT THE GUY.
When you start having that mindset shift, you lighten up! And you stop being scared.
LESSON #2: Imagine Dating as Disneyland
Now, instead of focusing on the bad things, we focus on making fun decisions.
Do you want the dangerous, fun guy? Or the safe, cute choice?
Once you go into dating with this playful mindset, your whole energy will change and you will start attracting a different kind of man.
If you go into dating thinking “I’m scared to get hurt”. You will attract being hurt.
That’s how it works!!
The more emboldened and empowered you are in the mindset of dating, making it all about YOU, making it all about DISNEYLAND, it will be a lot more fun.
LESSON #3: Explore What You Truly Want
Here’s what will happen – you will end up getting a guy. But before you do that, you should see the world as your fun land. You should be able to explore what YOU WANT.
You think you know exactly what you want but I’ll tell you – you have no idea! You just don’t. You’re a completely different woman. After a divorce. After going through all of that, you have no idea what you like.
Dating is the best way to explore what you want.
You need to take chances and do things you never thought you’d do. Take the rides you were never interested in before.
What happens – you’re having fun! You’re exploring different types of men.
If you’re going in dating with these high-level requirements, you’re coming in dating from a place of lack. If you’re thinking, “he should have a yacht and 20 real-estates” or “he needs to support me”, first, you need to fulfill your own needs!!
Dating, life and living life should always be all about you. Many of us made it all about our partner. But after divorce, you suddenly realize it IS about yourself!!
Are you afraid to make it about yourself?
You need to figure out WHY. What makes you afraid? It’s usually all about worth.
The fearless woman never compromises her worth. That’s one of my mantras!
At the end of the day, you should have the strength within you to NOT have a man. If nobody is good enough for you, you should be so wholesome that you’re FINE without a man in your life! You CAN survive on your own!
When you do admit your fears, you’re finally self-aware.
There’s a difference between being a driver and a passenger of your life. This is what happened to me after 20 years of marriage. I suddenly started asking myself “is this what I’ve become?!”, “who am I?!”
But the beautiful thing about this self-awareness – it’s the transformation!
The more emboldened you’re with facing the fear, the stronger you become. Get over your limiting beliefs!
There’s something VERY sexy about a woman who makes it about herself. You create an aura and energy that is super powerful. it’s THERE!
It’s a decision that we have to make about ourselves. That we have a lot to offer. We ARE going to make it about ourselves.
Because after you’ve gone through a divorce, you can do everything.
The best part about our time – everything is possible!
Here are some things to remember
(1) It’s about discovering YOU. Take dating as a Disneyland. Take different rides and take each ride as
(2) It’s not about you selling yourself. Do YOU. Do not go out to show off.
(3) We’re worried about being liked. STOP. You’re just trying, just showing up. That’s what we’re doing. We think we have to be perfect but NO.
Be the way you are with your best friends. How natural you are. How completely free you are. You’re just who you are. That’s how you should show up to dating!
When you shop up on a date like this and it clicks – that’s a great guy for you!
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