Who wants to talk about money? Most women don’t. Now that’s a problem right there! Not good and this is what we will work on changing and get you to be at a point that you embrace the concept of money versus repel and avoid the subject.
Many women in lengthy marriages find themselves in somewhat old fashioned roles. The husband most likely works and makes the bulk of the money for the home. The wife most likely does not work and maintains the home and kids.
Although there are many women today who also work full time but still hand over all money matters to their husbands.
So even though they work, make money, and still manage the house and kids, they do not take ownership of the money, rightly entrusting their husbands to handle all the “financial” matters.
I get that and understand that and as long as the marriage stays intact usually this seems to work for the couple. There are many women who stay in marriages and take a very involved part of the money side, which I think is smart but again, I understand both sides and as mentioned, if the marriage is healthy and strong this usually works well throughout the couple’s life.
In comes DIVORCE and then you realize what a big mistake you made when it comes to money and then you realize you have been hit by a bulldozer and are clueless when it comes to money.
How to reach financial stability after divorce?!
LIMITING BELIEF: I AM STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY
The other day I was working with one of my clients and she said to me that she was so stupid when it came to money and now realized how many mistakes she made when she was married.
I stopped her in her tracks right there and then. I said to her, “You are not stupid when it comes to money. You may have been naïve and entrusted your husband with the money, but that does NOT mean you are stupid!”
This is a very important distinction I want you to make. That you are not STUPID when it comes to money. As long as you have a brain and a computer and google and youtube, you can absolutely become very knowledgeable when it comes to money. So please immediately change your limiting belief of money. You are not stupid – you may not be educated in it, may not have knowledge in it, may have been naïve when it came to entrusting your husband with all the money, but it certainly does not mean you are STUPID! Got it? GOOD!
This limiting belief of MONEY is exactly the mindset we need to change in order for you to have more money. Sounds strange, I know, but that’s where we have to begin – your thoughts!
WHAT IS YOUR TRUE BELIEF OF MONEY?
What is it? Do you think it’s dirty? Do you hate it? Do you feel overwhelmed by it? Are you exhausted from not having it? Are you angry that you don’t have it? Why can’t it just magically appear in your bank account? Why do others have it so easy and you have it so hard?
The list can be endless when we get down to what your true belief is about money and the relationship you have with it. Yes – I used the word RELATIONSHIP! More on that below.
Just like my client said to me “she is stupid when it comes to money” she basically felt that she was not smart enough to handle any money-making decisions or money matters and was doomed when it came to money and would never have it.
And because she had this limiting belief of lack when it came to money, she would seek the evidence to prove this and it would be so. As what you think, leads you to what you feel, which leads you to act in that same negative pattern to prove that you will never have the money.
Perfect – you have proven your point that you will never have money. Exactly!
How do we switch this?
CHANGE YOUR BELIEF OF MONEY AND MORE MONEY WILL APPEAR
We have to change your belief about money if you want to reach financial stability after divorce.
We need to change your relationship with money. How you feel about it. How you think about it. What you want from it. How you take care of it. How you nurture it. How you watch over it. How much it is important to you.
Those who “poo-poo” money, and say it’s poison, or distracting, or the root of all evil, or something you don’t need are simply fooling themselves. Money is a commodity, yes, but it also is what makes this world go around. You need it for safety, security, shelter and food – those are the very basic Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Without money you will have chaos, drama, instability and things will not be good.
Suze Ormond, one of the most famous money experts in the world once said in her TV station that I personally watched, that changed how I thought of money years ago:
“If you don’t respect money, it will never respect you”.
WOW!
It was exactly like human relationships.
It was a symbiotic relationship – we both have to respect one another and we both will thrive.
It totally clicked and that’s when I realized years ago that in order to HAVE money, we need to nurture it, take care of it, water it, love it, check on it, etc. All the things we do with our pets, our plants, our kids, our families and our loved ones.
It sounds ridiculous I know but the sooner you get comfortable with money, the sooner you get to know your money situation, how much you have in the bank today, and how much you want to have in the bank tomorrow, and always checking on it, you will start WORKING towards figuring out ways to make more and spend less. You have to honor and respect money for it to honor and respect you. It’s that easy!!
That’s how it works! You change your mind set of money, you start having a good relationship with it, and nurturing it and wanting the money to grow and thrive (like your children, pets, family, friends, and obviously yourself) then I promise your money WILL grow and thrive and you will have more of it.
STEPS TO TAKE TO HAVE MORE MONEY AND REACH FINANCIAL STABILITY AFTER DIVORCE!
So now that you have an abundant and respectful mindset belief about money, and are not shying away from it or even repelling it anymore, but rather taking care of it and nurturing it, here are 5 things you need to do every day to help you have more money:
Every day check your bank account. Check what you spent, what came in, what came out, and know exactly where your money is at every single day.
Every day think of ways to spend less and make more and do ONE thing about it. Maybe carpool that day to work; maybe make dinner instead of takeout; maybe chicken instead of steak.
Every day visualize how good it will be when you have $ 10K in the bank or $ 100K in the bank – how does that feel to you, what would you do with that money? What would it be like having all that money in the bank account? It would be freeing, it would be so safe and secure, and you would be so happy and relieved to not have to worry about it. I want you to enjoy that feeling of goodness. Be in that moment of wealth and abundance for at least 30 seconds. See it, feel it and taste it.
Educate yourself every day about Money. Learn about it. Immerse yourself in the subject of Money. Become educated about money. Read books, go online, study the stock market, what’s an IRA, a ROTH IRA, 401K. What’s a stock? What’s a bond? What’s the difference between a dividend and an interest payment? What is inflation? What is an interest rate?
Learn about real estate and why it’s considered one of the best investments to make. Every day read one thing to learn about the world of money. This will embolden you and empower you to be confident and strong when it comes to money.
DONATE! Give to charity. Even if you don’t have money, you can donate one dollar a month. Give a dollar to a charity, to a church to an organization. Giving money, no matter how small, as it’s NEVER about the dollar amount you give. It’s always about the ACT of giving that feels so darn good! It’s about the act of kindness, the act of giving, and it makes you feel SO good. GIVE!
You will be amazed at how good it makes you feel. And when you GIVE, you always GET back. That’s the magic. You may not know from where or how, but when you give, you always get. It’s how it works. Don’t question this – just do it.
FEELING GOOD ABOUT MONEY IS HOW YOU HAVE MORE MONEY
That’s the secret!
When you feel good about money, you are on the right “frequency” of money as you have a peaceful and abundant mindset about it, you take care of money, you give and donate money, irrespective of the dollar amount, you want the money, and respect and honor the money and are becoming strong, educated and knowledgeable about money.
It no longer frightens you and you no longer repel it. Therefore thanks to the law of attraction, the universe will reward you with more money as you are now on the frequency of abundance of money and hence what you feel and think and put out into the universe is what you get back.
The same holds for the opposite – have a negative mindset of money, one of disgust, lack, neediness, inability to have it, broke and poor, then yes, the law of attraction will reward you with more of that lack mindset of money and you will only have less and less of it.
That is why the mindset and belief of money have to be at a place of abundance, love, nurture, growth, respect and being able to GIVE it to others.
Change your mindset and watch your money grow!
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