The ultimate reason why I broke up was love. How to fall in love again after all the pain we endured?
It’s hard to trust. It’s hard to fall in love again. We need to reprogram and reboot ourselves.
It’s all about love! Divorce is because of love. The marriage is because of love.
Love for me is everything. How can we not want love? We left because our biggest lack was love.
How to fall in love again after a painful divorce?
How to fall in love again
Start with the right mindset
I think the most important thing is the mindset. You need to get to the mindset where you say “I AM NOT AFRAID”.
And if you have gone through a divorce, if you have gone through that pain, you WILL be able to deal with some crappy men until you find the one!
Set boundaries. What happens with many of us – if you are not clear of what you need, relationships will not work.
See this as your OPPORTUNITY to start again. You know your needs, you are older, you know what you want.
Don’t restrict yourself and get into dating with fear. That’s what you’re going to get!
If you get into dating with lack, you will find a guy who will be predatorial. You have to make it all about you. It’s all about BOUNDARIES.
Download my 4 Step Boundary Model here!
Bad dates are going to happen. But if you were strong enough to deal with the breakup, you will be absolutely possible to meet a nice guy.
Mindset shift: instead of thinking about the guy, think about the why
Enjoy the dating process, don’t focus on just one guy.
Don’t think about the next boyfriend… next husband… Dating after divorce is to provide you with evidence that you are a HOT MAMA.
Get evidence that men can treat you well. Date from a place of exploration.
Your whole mindset will change!
Instead of being needy, you will be open and playful.
Don’t let HIM hurt your future
Don’t be fearful because you were hurt. HE is not the same as all the other guys. Just because he hurt you, you can’t assume that is what’s going to happen with everybody.
Now you take care of yourself. Put yourself first.
I realized, the problem was ME. I lacked boundaries. I didn’t think I have worth.
Most of us are in our 40ies or 50ies. This is about real companionship now. The whole need to be with a man is so much different!
You are different now. You need to be mindful about having FRESH NEEDS.
For example, I have kids and I am not a supporter of the concept of blended families. I did not want my boyfriend’s kids in my house. I was not looking forward to raising kids. I wanted a boyfriend! The man is for ME. Not for my kids.
There were men out there who wanted a stepmom to their kids. It was a BIG NO for me.
You need to know YOUR OWN boundaries. If there are any red flags, just leave. Appreciate your own boundaries.
You make your own rules
You can have loads of fun! Explore and enjoy dating. You are independent and free. You can see dating as your DISNEYLAND.
Explore who you want to be with, what makes you interested.
Be careful, don’t be naive.
Be your authentic self. You need to be yourself. The right guy will GET YOU. Go on a date being free. Bring positive energy but be honest. Share your energy!
Enjoy your time and aim for love! It’s worth it.
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