We don’t care about the outside what matters. That man can have a beard and hair on his chest but that doesn’t prove his manliness. Learn the difference between a boy-man and a grown-man!
Learn the Difference between a Boy-Man and a Grown-Man
You need a man who can handle your feelings
We go to doctors to check out health, we go to the gym to stay fit, we eat healthy to bring nutrition to our body. But what do we do for our EMOTIONS?
That’s where it’s crucial to recognize that you must take care of yourself and take care of your inner being. And you must surround yourself with people who understand that.
When a man, a husband tells you that you are too emotional, HELL NO!!
Recently on a Zoom call, someone said “I’m having the wrong emotions”. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! No, get rid of the word WRONG. They are your feelings. You can not put them down. You can’t patronize yourself.
See, we’re so used to being put down, we take it as a norm.
But we need to put ourselves on top of the list.
I completely forgot who I was because I was with a boy-man!! He was not a man, he was a kid.
We need to learn how we respond
Recently I was out with a friend. Her husband couldn’t reach out to her for a long time and then send a long message.
You know how I feel about long messages… They are DRAMA.
I delete. I block. I move on.
It’s how a boy would react, not a man.
But it’s up to us to decide what we’re going to do. We need to RESPOND instead of REACTING.
If we respond, we’re grown women.
If you react, we act like little girls.
Phrases like “Where have you been?! Why didn’t you call me???? How dare you?!?!” show that you’re talking with a boy.
And the woman tries to work her way through it.
That is SO toxic!!
She’s so loving and giving. But the man on the other side is so dehydrated, so incomplete.
He ended up saying that now he will go out and party with his friends, and hung up. ARE WE IN KINDERGARTEN???
And the worst part is that we accept it. We’re so used to it that we are okay with this.
Saying “It’s okay, I’m used to it” – that’s where the real problem starts!!
Like attracts like
You might think how an amazing woman can attract a boy-men. But when we don’t work on ourselves, have lack and are desperate, we will attract exactly the same in a man!
That’s why it’s so important to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, work on yourself, make sure you’re a whole woman. And THEN start dating.
Like attracts like. If you lack love, if you’re desperate for it, you will attract predatorial men.
Understand your needs
We have three main needs: physiological which is survival, shelter, food, psychological where we work on community, family, etc, and then comes to the best one – enlightenment.
There are more phases to this Maslow’s hierarchy but these three are my favorite to consider in relation to relationships.
MMI – me, myself & I – is the awareness, it’s the enlightenment.
It is NOT acceptable behavior when someone talks down to you. It is imperative, as you go through the enlightenment phase, to realize that you attracted boy-man. And you should be ready to never attract one like that again!!
Never get yourself to the level where you’re saying “I’m used to it”.
It’s a fist hitting you right in the heart!
You stop talking, you stop expressing yourself because there’s always another punch coming when you open your mouth.
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