Many women do not break up or leave their husbands, even though they are in a toxic or bad relationship for this reason: Fear of being alone! Are you Afraid to Be Alone?
This fear of being alone is so powerful (although I will show you how it’s an illusion shortly) that many women decide to stay in toxic, depleting, emotionally abusive relationships because their distorted logic states that at least they are not alone.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Are you Afraid to Be Alone?
BEING ALONE IS A LIMITING BELIEF
Somewhere in your head, you have made up this rule that you can’t be alone. Maybe it’s because you had trauma growing up and there was no safety and security in your childhood, that latching onto a toxic man is better than no man (awful and not true).
Perhaps you have a low sense of self-worth and truly feel that no other man will want you and therefore you will stay in this compromising marriage (also not true).
Some women are just so afraid to be alone and think that they could never manage being alone, and thus give up and surrender to their toxic situation (also not true).
There are many reasons why women are afraid to be alone that they just give up and accept this sub-par way of life that is depleting, emotionally exhausting, and devoid of love and affection, but they do it because of their FEAR of the “unknown”.
I have a paradigm shift to present to you.
Being alone is AMAZING.
Being alone is INCREDIBLE.
Being alone allows you to fall in love with yourself. Being alone allows you to work on you and not on your husband. Being alone allows you to figure out what your needs are, your wants, and your desires are.
Do you see the paradigm shift here? Being ALONE is not BAD at all! It’s actually AMAZING!!!
You have created this limiting belief that being alone is so scary and frightening and awful and you can’t make it and you won’t make it and you will fail and never find another man… the list is probably endless! And whatever you put into your head you end up seeking evidence for this to be true!
You go around and see all the reasons why you can’t be alone and then you stay in this terrible relationship or marriage. Many of you even feel like you are in a prison cell with the door locked!
I am here to tell you that you are WRONG.
I am here to tell you that you need a PARADIGM SHIFT – a way to look at being ALONE in a whole new way.
And this is a new way.
BEING ALONE IS BEING FREE!
FREEDOM! Being alone is how you are FREE. Free to self express, free to figure out your stuff, free to dive deep into who you really are, free to fall in love with yourself and become a whole secure woman.
Being ALONE is the only way that you can truly become strong with who you are as a whole woman. Because if you are needy and afraid to be alone, that already says a lot about you. It says you have issues that you need to figure out and resolve. Thinking a man can complete you, a man can solve things for you, a man can make you a whole woman is not true. That usually is why you are now in the situation of being in a bad marriage or relationship yet too afraid to break it off as you are so afraid to be alone.
It is a total vicious cycle.
The only way to break this cycle is to cut the cord and face the fear head on! And remind yourself that you can and you will. Remind yourself that you are not alone but instead you are now FREE. And seek the evidence to prove that you CAN do it. Look for the things to validate your ability to be ALONE (not the other way around).
This is a choice we all have.
You are not stuck in that prison cell – you actually are holding onto the keys.
It’s up to you to unlock the door. You and only you.
YOU ARE ALREADY ALONE
I was married for 20 years. Half of the marriage was good. Yet the latter half was not. And even though I was married with kids, I had never felt so alone during the latter half of my marriage. I was physically present with him – yes – but emotionally and spiritually, I was alone.
This is proof right then and there that being with SOMEONE does not mean you are NOT alone.
And how about this way of thought:
You can be alone in a marriage, and NOT alone as a single woman.
It’s the “idea” that no physical person is in your life that makes it scary.
But I can not begin to stress this more – it’s your MINDSET that decides this.
When you get scared of being alone, go back to what that really means – it means FREEDOM to be you!!
BE FREE TO BE YOU!
Believe in your ability to be alone. Look at it as freedom. As time for you. A relationship with yourself!
I promise that once you get comfortable with this, you will start loving this quiet time for yourself. You will become curious about the world, about people, about nature, about yoga, meditation, the meaning of life. You will want to read more, spend more time with your loved ones, your family, your friends.
You will also become PRESENT – you will see that you start being aware of the MOMENT of the NOW.
This is probably the BEST part of being alone.
Your awareness and consciousness completely changes to the here and now. And when you are HERE AND NOW – only magic happens. As you are present to be aware of everything around you and guess what? You feel part of the world! Part of something. And the last thing you feel is ALONE.
It’s counterintuitive – I know. But trust me – being ALONE is life transformational.
I highly recommend it!